yesterday, an important day:)
Yesterday was a very important day for John and I. It won’t completely make sense to everyone, but it doesn’t have to. It makes sense to us.
Before I go into details I will take you back to January 16th. As John and I sat holding hands in the surgeons office we were about to hear news that would change our life forever. Every single detail in our life would change. We were scared, we were sad, we were worried. As tears rolled down our faces in the office we barely spoke. I’m not even sure what we would have said if we could speak. We just looked at each other, listened to the doctor and went home.
As the weeks set in the wheels were in motion. I was going through my own emotions of my impending future and what that entailed. What would happen to my body just to rid myself of cancer and start to rebuild my life…actually to rebuild OUR life. I was losing both breasts and all my hair….and that was just the start.
This year John and I will have been married for 11 years. It means something to both of us that we took our vows….and we meant it. But to be perfectly honest I know this is not what he signed up for so many years ago. His wife having cancer at 32? Is that something anyone can prepare for? The answer is no.
This long drawn out story brings me to yesterday After I was diagnosed and the reality truly set in, I think John felt helpless. He looked at me each day falling apart. From surgery, to recovery, to chemo, to puking and crying and so on. It was a lot. It still is a lot. He mentioned to me that he wanted to get a tattoo. This really took me off guard. I have 2 tattoos that we’ll just say was a little rebellion and a little not John is not a “tattoo” kind of a person. He is all business. He wears suits, and ties, and has 3 college degrees…. not something I necessarily affiliate tattoos with. After a few months he seemed to still be talking about it. He knew what he wanted. My cross that I have on my back with a pink cancer ribbon wrapped around it, and three roses to represent the girls and I. I thought it was a great idea and couldn’t believe he really still wanted to go through with it. Well, yesterday he did just that:)
It turned out perfect and was exactly what he wanted. As he sat there for hours all I could do was look at him. A million things running through my brain, but most of all how much I loved him. I didn’t make him do this. I never even asked. This was something he wanted to do just for me. The devotion he had towards me was a kind of love I had never experienced. I know what true love is. I saw it first hand and had a front row seat. This man loves me and would do anything for me. It was a day I will forever remember and hold close to my heart.
still sore and raw here is the 1st photo:)